Project Ramona: Negative Chubby Thoughts
12/19/2012 11:46:00 AM
Two years ago I auditioned for a part-time TV gig. I so wanted to co-host "Charlotte Today" with Colleen Odegaard on NBC Charlotte. I even went to an old boss for advice. I called up Ken White, the news director at Fox Charlotte, and asked him if he thought my weight would keep me from getting the job. Ken told me not to worry about it. He said that they'd want me for my personality. I wanted to believe him, but back then I was tipping the scales at about 230 lbs and I felt like a BLOB sitting next to tiny Colleen. Heck, the boutique that supplies clothes for the show only carries up to size 6! I was rockin' a 1x!
When it was time for the show to start I'd secretly scoot my chair back about 4 inches so I wouldn't appear as big to viewers. Thanks to my giant thighs, keeping my knees together so it didn't look like I was trying to give Charlotte a crotch shot, was darn near impossible. Crossing my legs like Colleen did? Impossible!!! I worried about resting my arm on the glass table between the chairs. Sometimes it would tip a little and I feared a BIG GIRL disaster. I imagined the director in my earpiece saying, "Ramona, you know you are TOO DANG BIG to lean on that table! Would you just keep your hands in your lap PLEASE?!?!?" Don't get me started on the kitchen segment. I'm a horrible cook and in my negative chubby thoughts I just knew viewers were thinking, "Of course she can't cook. She probably super-sizes at every drive-thru in town!"
I cried like a baby when I was told the TV show was going with another host. In hindsight, before I found the surgical weight management program at CVMC I just wasn't mentally prepared for the opportunity. From exercise segments to modeling the latest trends, "Charlotte Today" isn't a show where you just sit... and it was a challenge for me to try to look comfortable on TV while JUST SITTING!
Well fast forward to last week when NBC Charlotte offered me the job. YAY! The only problem? The station can't use any of my old audition footage because I just don't look like the same Ramona. Check out this cooking segment shot before my gastric bypass surgery at Catawba Valley Medical Center.
That was more than 70 pounds ago! People tell me there is more confidence in my body movement now. Sometimes I wonder if they're just projecting their views of thin people on me. But in reality, I do feel far less self conscious and more comfortable when I do things that most people don't even think about like bending over to pick things up or just walking through the mall. Yes, things have changed in my world. Finding a clothing sponsor for me won't be so tough now that practically every boutique and department store in town carries my size (6s and 8s). I'm not going to worry about what it'll look like when I'm eating or sitting next to a little chick in front of a camera.... and now my thighs are small enough for me to cross my legs on that bar stool any time I'd like!