Project Ramona: Full of Crap
2/21/2012 9:04:00 AM
I've got a new enemy and its all because I'm full of crap, LITERALLY!!! When I first talked to Lynn, the Bariatric Outreach Dietitian at Catawba Valley Medical Center, about my pre-surgery fast, she suggested I start taking a "stool softener." A nurse at Dr. Cox's office told me the same thing. I nodded politely to both women, but I was thinking, "EWWWWWW! Stool softener?!" That sounds like something you give the patients in a nursing home. Regular Ramona! That's me. So, acting as if I knew more than both of these professionals, I decided to skip the stool softener. When I realized I was literally full of crap, I popped a few poop pills. The result? Cramps! I followed that with a few days of taking a "mild' laxative. More cramps then finally relief. So what did I do. I assumed Regular Ramona was back. No more softeners or laxatives for me.
Fast forward to a week later. After about 15 minutes of potty labor I gave birth to something about the size of a grape. I named it after my ex-husband and flushed it. A few days after that I ate some chicken that just didn't agree with me. I called Lynn, "something is wrong!" I listed all the foods I'd eaten.
Lynn: "have you had a bowel movement?"
Me: "ummmm, not in over a week"
Lynn: "I think that's your problem. Have you been taking your stool softener? Laxatives?"
Me: "ummmm, No"
Lynn: "Until you get regular again, you need to continue to take laxatives"
Me: "but I'm Regular Ramona!"
Okay, so I didn't really say that last line, but I have learned my lesson about following orders. Lynn and Libby know best. I'm assuming most of the challenges we post-surgery folks face can be traced to not following directions. I got an e-mail from another patient who had surgery a week before me. She was complaining about not losing weight as fast as me. Was she getting on the scale every single day? Yes! Were we warned NOT to do that? Yes!
The morale of this story is simple. Follow directions or you won't like the consequences. Lesson learned.