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Project: Ramona Blog


Project Ramona: So, So Mental

I fully understand why Catawba Valley Medical Center requires a psychological assessment before weight loss surgery.  So much of what you experience is mental. One of the counselors CVMC recommended has an office in Gastonia near my home.  It turns out that she'd had weight loss surgery many years ago.  We talked at length about how a person who'd historically been such a bad med taker would remember to take her vitamins.  We talked about how I'd handle the emotional issues that in the past would send me straight to the pantry to devour a bag of chips.  We even talked about how uncomfortable I felt back in the 90s when I lost a bunch of weight and I suddenly began to get lots of attention from men.  Well, it's happening again...

My pal, Matt Harris, says I should forgive men.   After all, they're just visual creatures.  He says perhaps these men where looking for a woman they could grow old with and assumed the 200+ pound lady wouldn't be around for very long.  Good point, but while the image in photos has changed, nothing else has changed.  I'm still the same sensitive, supportive, funny, generous and spiritual woman I was before losing nearly 74 pounds.  I'm still offended by fat jokes.  I still identify with the woman just looking for a kind, faithful man who thinks my quirks are cute, my dedication to family is admirable and my intellect is interesting. It's tough for me to not put the "shallow" label on any man who wasn't attracted to me before, but now finds a reason to ask me out.

You can prepare for some of the post-surgery changes in your life, but there is no way to prepare for them all.  You have to take some of it as it comes.  I must admit that I know a few recovering obese girls in bad relationships and I hope now that they look better they'll realize they can do better.  Is that hypocritical?  Sure it is, but I warned you that there is some mental stuff that I'm still trying to figure out.

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