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Project: Ramona Blog

 

Project Ramona: Allergic to My Own Sweat

You'll have to ask my friend, Sally, how many years have passed since we did the Disney half-marathon.  I still have my Donald Duck medal proudly displayed at my house.  I didn't get the medal for winning.  It was one of those "everyone who participates gets a medal" awards.  Sally and I trained for the half-marathon for about 10 months.  We walked about 15 miles a week in preparation for the 13+ mile race.  A few years after our race, Sally graduated to boot camp workouts.  After all that walking I didn't lose a pound and I graduated to ... nothing.    To add insult to injury, my co-workers, Matt Harris and Brent "Bandy Boo" O'Brien, did the race too.  They didn't even train and finished about an hour before me.  Bandy even completed the half-marathon in street shoes.  He didn't even wear sneakers.

I decided that exercise just made you sweat your hair into an ugly mess and gave you sore  muscles.  My feet and legs were so upset after the half-marathon that I hit the sheets for the rest of the day and didn't enjoy Disney much.  Exercise was just a way for hot people to show off their hot bodies to other people with hot bodies.  When people would ask me about a charity 5K or cardio class I'd joke that I was "allergic to my own sweat."  Gyms? Not usually fat-friendly places.  You want to hear some nasty fat talk?  Listen to what the Gym Bunnies have to say about the out-of-shape people who hog the equipment every January thanks to  "get fit" resolutions.  

Last weekend I took a Cardio Jam class.  The days leading up to it were filled with dread and doubt.  Why? I can't remember if I did that half marathon in 2006 or 2007, but I can remember every harsh comment ever uttered when I've attempted to work out.  When a plus-size girl puts on spandex for a walk around the neighborhood, the men in pick-up trucks aren't exactly yelling compliments.   I remember fit friends running off and leaving me when I couldn't keep up.  There was the time I vomited after trying to run a mile.  You wondering why your XXL friend is sitting on the couch?  I've lost 74 pounds since my gastric bypass surgery at Catawba Valley Medical Center.  That's about the size of a 10-year-old.  Imagine what it would feel like to go through the paces of your regular workout with a 5th grader strapped to your back!

I was ashamed to admit to the folks at Cardio Jam that the last time I worked up a sweat exercising was nearly 7 years ago.  Thankfully women of all shapes, sizes and ages showed up for the event.  At first I was nervous about making a fool of myself, but I wound up having a blast.  I felt a lot more comfortable emotionally and physically TRYING to keep up as a size 6 than I did when I was an 18.  I didn't have to wonder if people were laughing at the big girl bouncing, panting and sweating in her spandex.  I only had to wonder if I could pull off the hip-hop inspired moves.  Will I be hired as a dancer for Jay Z's next video?  Nope! Are my legs still a little sore from droppin' it like its hot? Yep!  Am I ready to do it again?  HECK YEAH!!!!!

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