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Kelly's Blog


Guess Who's On-line Dating

That's right- ME.  And, boy, do I have some stories to share!  First off, keep in mind that my profile reads: "CREEPERS NEED NOT APPLY!  NO OFFENSE BUT IF YOU'RE A PERVERT WHO ONLY WANTS TO GET INTO MY PANTS- NO THANKS.  NICE GUYS ONLY PLEASE."  So right off the bat I'm attempting to let would-be suiters know that I'm not on-line for a hook up.  I really
do want to meet someone to date, get to know well, and possibly resulting in a committed relationship.  All that being said I'm guessing the men who wrote the following must not be able to read. 

(Their profile names have been altered slightly to protect their identities.)

From CutePuppyClt:  "I think you're completely hot and I'd love to see you tonight.  Call me!"  I received that around 11 p.m. on a Friday night.   Hmmmm.  A Booty Call?  Let me think about that...NO!

IAmHuge wrote:  "I'm 6'6" and built like a tree and hope to give a special lady some wood one day.  Are you interested?"  A tempting offer indeed but I just had to pass.

Then RedRover sent this quickie to me:  "Call me" and included his number.  Mind you he'd never written before or even bothered to send me a wink so I was practically tripping over myself to get to the phone- in his mind!

I really loved hearing from NakedGuy:  "We need to get to know each other right away because I'm going to a convention in Vegas the beginning of June and I'd love for you to join me."  I looked on-line to see what convention was going on in Vegas in the beginning of June and it's a NUDIST CONVENTION!  DELETE!!!!!!!

Finally, JustBill wanted to share his beliefs with me:  "Dear Kelly.  I believe in the small of a woman's back, great Scotch, and that Lee Harvey Oswald did not act alone".  Even if that is a line out of a movie it's still a disturbing way to introduce yourself to someone.  No thanks.

The good news is that in the 10 days I've been on-line I have had two dates with two very nice guys.  They were complete gentleman but I, on the other hand, may have frightened them both with my open and honest nature.  Date #1 seemed to jump a bit when I hugged him hello, but I have never met a stranger so it never dawned on me that a hug could shock someone.  When I first sat down with Date #2 and he asked how my day was I replied, "Have you ever wanted to punch someone in the throat? Not hard enough to seriously injure them but just enough to stun them?" His eyes popped out of his head which made me think that I should have said, "It was great, thanks for asking!"  But glossing over the truth has never been my style.