I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that, every day, someone asks me if I've ever been married. When I say no their facial expressions lead me to believe they think I'm a freak of nature. Because of that I feel the need to add, "but I've been proposed to 7 times!"- which is also true.
7 proposals. 1 yes. 1 guy who came to his senses in time to prevent us both from making a mistake. Let me explain.
First of all, the proposals: (and the names will be changed to protect the innocent!)
#1: Enrique was the M.C. at a comedy club in Columbus, Ohio where I used to do a regular Friday night appearance for the radio station I worked for at the time. Although I knew Enrique for a year, he and I had only gone out on three dates when he popped the question. He even had a ring in hand when he dropped to his knee to profess his undying love. Seriously, I about fell over! I said thank you for his sweet sentiment but told him that three dates was no where near enough time to know whether or not you want to marry someone. (And, in case you're wondering, Enrique was born in the States so it wasn't a Green card Proposal.) After being rejected he locked himself in my bathroom and threatened to kill himself. Then my roommate had to talk him out. He quit the comedy club and I never saw him again.
#2: Hank and I worked together at the same radio station that sent me to the comedy club where I met Enrique. Isn't that ironic? Hank worked weekends and I did the afternoon show.
He and I were really good pals...until we got drunk one night and made out. After that I still wanted to be pals but he wanted something more. One night he showed up at my apartment with a bottle of champagne, some roses, and a ring. He told me that best friends make for great relationships- which I totally agree with if love is involved. When I told him I only loved him as a friend, he put his arm through a window and ended up in the E.R.
#3: I met Mason at another station in Columbus, Ohio. He was doing afternoons and I was doing the midday show. And I now know why you shouldn't date someone you work with! Mason was an older man and a smooth operator- and I totally fell for him. He was 41 and I was 21 so when I took him home to meet my mom I was surprised that Senior Citizen Sallie didn't have a heart attack when she found out they were the same age! Mason proposed to me at a Warren Zevon concert when he was totally trashed. Obviously I said no, especially considering the circumstances. Well, I think I actually said, "Get off your knee you fool. You're drunk, AND old enough to be my father!". Two weeks later Mason dumped me for the 18 year old intern. I was crushed. I didn't want to marry him but I really enjoyed being his girlfriend.
#4: Next, there was Jim. Jim was a player I met at a bar and my roommate at the time, Susan, hated him from the start- and she had good reason. I was really into Jim and he wasn't into me. He would make plans and then cancel at the last minute, or he'd call me at 3 a.m. for you-know-what and I would run right over. After several months of this treatment, the magic had worn off. I was no longer really into Jim, but he was suddenly really into me. He'd want to make plans but I was busy. He'd call at a decent time but I wasn't interested. So the night he dropped by with a bottle of wine and a ring I was thrown for a loop. I simply said- "no thank you, and it was nice meeting you". And that was that.
#5: Then came Tim, and he was quite the character: the life of the party, and everyone's friend. He and I had met in college and had been kissing pals back in the day but it was totally casual. Then, 4 or 5 years later we reconnected at a friend's wedding and it was like fireworks. We started dating long distance for a year and then lived together in Florida for another 2. The proposal came two weeks into our relationship whenI was visiting him in Syracuse. On our way to dinner he told me to open the glove box. Guess what I found? That's right. An engagement ring! I looked at it....looked at him....looked at it....then put it back into the glove box and said, "I'm hungry". He had a really good sense of humor so he thought my reaction was funny. Any other man would have considered the rejection an ego slam and would have dumped me on the spot. We're still friends to this day and he's happily married with three beautiful children.
#6: I've blogged about my late friend Brian before. He and I worked together in Tampa in the early 90's and remained friends for years. We'd been close for over 10 years when he called one day to tell me he was in love with me and wanted to marry me. I told him that I needed to think about it because I hadn't thought of him in that way before, and that I would call him Monday so we could talk. Before I could pick up the phone to tell him that I wanted to fly out so we could try our hand at dating- he called to tell me that, because he was upset with my reaction, he'd gone to Vegas, got drunk, and then married some girl he met at the craps table. She got pregnant that weekend and they stayed together until the day he died- which was less than two years ago.
#7: And, finally, the one I actually said yes to....Nick. Nick was a friend of a friend, which is the best way to meet someone- in my opinion. He was younger than me, and better looking than me, and the sweetest guy I've ever dated. He treated me like a queen. We started living together just a couple of months after our first date. A year later we bought a house together. Then a couple of years after that, we were sitting on the couch when he asked "want to go pick out a ring tomorrow?" Not the most romantic way to propose to someone but I'm a practical girl, and we'd already been together for three years so getting married was the logical next step. The ring was stunning, but the reality of our relationship was that we loved the idea of one another, and may have even loved each other, but we weren't in love. He woke up one day and said, "I don't want to be here anymore and I don't know why." I took a second and then replied, "Okay. Let me help you pack." Had Nick not taken the tough step, I would have gone through with the wedding and, I'm sure, we would have ended up divorced.
So, thanks to Nick, I have never been married- and I'm okay with that.