Dear Kelly, I've been married for 18 years and my husband and I stopped having sex over two years ago. At first I thought he must be cheating but when I confronted him about my suspicions he denied it. I just couldn't understand how any man could go without sex so I figured he was getting it somewhere else. However, because I'm dealing with peri-menopause I'm not all that interested in it either but I feel like we need to stay close in order to stay married. What should I do?
Something Is Missing
Dear Something, I agree that there needs to be intimacy in order for a couple to stay close. If you're struggling hormonally, there's a very good chance your husband is in the same boat. A lack of hormones equals a lack of sex drive. I think the two of you need to have a heart-to-heart talk so you can begin reconnecting. You may need to go to marriage counseling, and I definitely think you both need to see your doctor for a complete physical. Also, remember that intimacy is about more than just sex. Cuddling, kissing, holding hands, talking, laughing, spending time together…those are also ways to stay close in a relationship.
Hang in there!