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Daily Dilemma- Hubby/Sperm Donor

Dear Kelly,

My husband and I have been married for three years but he was married previously.  His ex-wife is very nice, she's still close with the family so I've bumped into her during the holidays.  My husband and his ex never had children but  she's been trying with her current husband and just found out that they can't conceive because of his medical issues.  Because of that she turned to my husband, her ex, and asked him if he would be the biological father of their child.  I don't know how I feel about this.  She's assured us that he's just going to be the sperm donor and they were going to be the parents, but I don't like the idea of him having a child with a woman other than me.  Is that wrong?

Signed,

Am I Selfish

Dear Am I,

I don't think you're being selfish for not wanting to share your husband with another woman.  However she was a part of his life first and she's still close with his family.  That being said, I would totally understand it if he wanted to help her become a mother.  As long as they get everything in writing and notarized, I don't see how his donation to their cause could become a legal problem for you later.  As for the emotional issues involved here- you need to think it through but try to open your heart to the idea of helping another woman achieve her dream of becoming a mother.  What an amazing gift!

Keep me posted,

Kelly McKay

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