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Daily Dilemma-He's Insisting She Works.

Dear Kelly,

Before my husband and I got married we discussed having children and what I would do about my job when I became a mother.   The plan, five years ago, was for me to quit my job once I got pregnant and then be a stay-at-home mom until our child goes to kindergarten.  Well we're now trying to get pregnant so I told my husband that I was going to give my job notice once I conceive and am through the first trimester.  That's when he freaked.  He told me that there's no way we could afford for me not to work and there's no way he could handle the stress of supporting me for a year, yet alone 5.  So, now what?

Sincerely,

Still Trying

Dear S.T.,

Five years is a long time and a lot of things can change.  Reality may have set in and, although he may have first thought he could handle the responsibility of being completely financially responsible for a family, he may not feel up to the task at this time.  Maybe he's having some issues at work he hasn't told you about.  Maybe finances are tight and he's overwhelmed thinking about how rough things will be with only one income.  Regardless, your husband has honestly told you that he doesn't think he can handle supporting you while you stay home to raise kids.  In order to have a happy marriage you're going to have to compromise.  Taking six months off, once the baby comes, will give you plenty of time to stay home and enjoy your baby while looking for quality child care for when you do return to work.  Side note: odds are your job won't let you come back after 6 months so try to find employment with a temp agency.  That will give you flexibility to not work when your child is sick.

Best of luck!

Kelly McKay

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