My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. During that time he's been unemployed for at least 3 of them. When he's out of work he lays around and drinks, and then gets angry at me if I come home and don't have dinner planned. My friends and family constantly tell me that I need to leave him, but that's easier said than done. I'm 35 and I've already invested years in this relationship and dread the thought of starting over. Add to that, I know that he'll eventually get his act together and, when he does, he's assured me we'll get married and start a family. I'm ready to be a mom and need advice on how not to hate a man who is so selfishly unmotivated.
Hanging By A Thread
Why in the world would you want to raise children with a man who hasn't even been a partner to you in the 5 years you've been together? He can make all the promises he wants but actions speak louder than words and he's done nothing to lift a finger to show you that he's worthy of all of the time you've invested in him. It would be one thing if, while unemployed, he worked hard around the house and yard and had dinner on the table for you when you got home from work. Instead, it seems he's gone out of his way to show you that you can't depend on him and that he's lazy and inconsiderate and definitely not good husband or father material. I'm with your friends and family, get out now before you spend 10 years waiting for a miracle to happen.