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Daily Dilemma - I Want Kids After All

Kelly,

My husband and I discussed whether or not to have children before we got married. That was five years ago and, at the time, we'd both agreed we didn't want any.  Recently, though, I've had a change of heart and really want to be a mother.  I've told my husband how I feel yet he's still adamant that he doesn't want children.  I think he's being stubborn and selfish but he told me that I'm either going back on my word or lied to him five years ago.  I'm at a loss as what to do next.

Sincerely,
Wanting

Dear Wanting,

I can understand both sides of the argument.  You can't help that your feelings have changed regarding motherhood yet your husband can't help that his haven't.  However, this is your problem to handle as he was upfront with you from the beginning and hasn't swayed on his wants and needs.  I suggest you do some soul searching and decide whether or not you can remain married to your husband, and childless, while not resenting him.  If you want a child more than you want your marriage then you need to move on and do so quickly.  Tricking him into getting you pregnant will only cause him to resent you and most likely end your marriage anyway- so go out gracefully, if that's your choice, and give him the chance to meet someone who truly feels the way he does about such a deal breaking topic as parenthood.  

Best of luck!
Kelly McKay

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