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Daily Dilemma- I Raised Mine!

Dear Kelly, 

My daughter is 21 and has a 3 year old son who's father is not paying child support.  Even worse, it's not as if he was ordered to pay a certain amount every month and isn't- my daughter hasn't even asked him for support of any kind.  She told me that she knows he can't afford it so she doesn't want to do that to him.  Mind you, I'm the one supporting her child because she can't afford to take care of him on her own.  How can I convince her that it's only right for two parents raise a child since two people took part in making him?



I Raised Mine!

Dear I.R.M.,


I don't blame you for being frustrated with your daughter and the situation, even though I'm sure you adore your grandchild.  I recommend, when you discuss the issue of child support with your daughter, focus on the baby's father's need to learn responsibility.  If she's worried about him not being able to afford to pay each month, bring up the fact that she's not able to afford being a mom either but you've stepped up to help.  That's what family is for and I'm sure he has family who can help him meet his monthly responsibility as well.  You can also paint a picture of what it will be like for her down the road when you're not around to help.  How will she raise her child then?  She needs to be smart and file the paperwork to get child support paid through the courts for her child.  Being nice now isn't going to help her or her child in the future.


Good luck!


Kelly McKay