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Lamar reviews - RIPD

It's never a good sign when they won't do early screenings for critics.

I had my choice between Helen Mirren holding a sniper rifle or Ryan Reynolds and Jeff Bridges being dead cops chasing dead people that refuse to go onto their final judgement. I chose wrong. The trailers actually looked funny to me. I was visualizing Men In Black with a twist on being dead. What I got was a movie premise that should have never been allowed to live in the first place. This movie not only includes Reynolds and Bridges, it has Mary-Louise Parker and Kevin Bacon. Which by the way goes totally against my "everything is better with bacon" theory.

Ryan Reynolds, otherwise known as the poor mans Ryan Gosling, is Nick, a cop who has done something he shouldn't. He gets killed on duty but instead of going to Heaven where the J-Team plays or winding up in Hell, otherwise known as Scientology's Hollywood summer camp of eternal damnation he is sent to the RIPD. That stands for Rest In Peace Department. Their job is To patrol the earth looking for Deados who are deceased people who refuse to go on to eternity and disguise themselves as living, breathing humans. For some reason one of the ways to force them to reveal themselves is to expose them to Indian food, especially Cumin. I don't really understand that, but I do work with a guy that after he eats Mexican sometimes it smells like he died, but that's another story. Their dead self once revealed is monstrous and seems to have super powers. The only way to kill them is a head shot from some sort of protoplasm bullet. Nick is partnered with veteran cop Roy played by Bridges. He was a Sheriff back in the 1800s complete with mustache and goatee that is a cross between Col. Sanders and Gen. Custer. This is the standard Buddy Cop team where Roy is the old grumpy veteran and Nick is the young smart mouth rookie. They don't get along until the last 15 minutes when they bond together to save the world. They are stationed in Boston where nick is from and he goes to tell his girlfriend that although he's dead he's still around. The problem is RIPD officers don't come back to earth in their original forms. To live people Nick looks like James Hong the famous 84 year old Asian character actor and Roy looks like Victoria Secret model Marisa Miller. That part is pretty clever and funny but they don't do the changes consistently.

I never realized how good the plot was with Men In Black until I saw this. I'm not so sure if Jackass 3D didn't have more structure and make more sense. The only really good thing I can say is Adam Sandler and Janene Garofalo ain't in it.

The gadgets aren't as cool as Men In Black. Yeah, I know I keep comparing it to MIB, but if you don't want to be compared to another movie don't make your movie look like that movie. And if you decide to, your movie needs to be better.

Rated PG-13 and thankfully only 96 minutes. RIPD will be DOA at the box office.

My Score: 2 Buds and that’s only because Ryan Reynolds is so good looking.

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