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Lamar's Review Parker

Parker

This is the time of year when the movie scale is different. What would be considered ridiculous trash in the summer or at Christmas is a fun popcorn movie in January and February.

I am a huge Jason Statham and I will go see every movie he makes. I have forgiven him for Transporter 2 and the second Crank. I do believe he could actually do more if somebody offered him a good movie but until they do he’s not turning anything down.

Jason Statham’s characters always have a set of rules that they live by. They are all very moral rules up to the point of stealing. His characters are always stealing something which for him is just business. Unless somebody steals something from him, and then it’s personal.

In this he signs on with a crew run by Michael Chiklis. They rob the Ohio State Fair of a million dollars in gate receipts while dressed as a Priest, a fireman, and two clowns. After the job they double cross Parker and think they kill him. They do not and he hunts them down for revenge.

Normally I’m a guy who goes to a movie, sits down with some popcorn and watches what’s on the screen without nitpicking. In most movies you have to accept some things that most likely don’t happen in real life, but if they didn’t in the movie, then the movie wouldn’t work. I’m sure there was a time long ago when you could actually hot wire a car by reaching under the dash and grabbing two wires and putting them together. I also understand the rules of action movies. When the hero is running for his life he either finds a car he can get into and start in 15 seconds or a motorcycle is always running or can be started without a key. After watching Jason Statham steal 5 different cars and an ambulance within 8 minutes I was surprised to find my car still in the parking lot.

His co-star in this movie is Jennifer Lopez. When you are Jennifer Lopez and you are in a movie you have two questions. How much are you going to pay me? And, how many times are you going to close ups on my butt? I’m pretty sure her agent had somebody from MIT to come up with a formula that takes the amount of screen time J Lo’s butt get’s verses how many lines she has to determine how much she get’s paid.

I kept waiting for a romance to fire up between her and Parker but he has a girlfriend and that pesky moral code thing. On the upside it keeps him from cheating on his girlfriend (played by Emma Booth) on the downside it doesn’t hinder him from killing a dozen people. She really doesn’t add anything to the movie.

The other big star in this is Nick Nolte who plays his gangster mentor that unknowingly sets him up the double crossing crew. If somebody gave Nick Nolte a Ricola, a shot of whiskey, and he actually hocked up whatever’s in his throat his career would consist doing commercials for burial insurance.

This is standard Jason Statham stuff. I just wished he could do some non-standard Jason Statham stuff. I think he’s go it in him.

118 minutes Rated R for violence and some nudity.

Because I love Jason Statham my score: 4 Buds

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